I think everyone around the New England area is craving Summer, its actually all I have wanted since the day we entered into Winter… and even though its so close, the weather is of course being a jerk and playing with our heads. We did however have a beautiful Sunday, again, teasing us.. and right when I felt that sun shine through my window, I was ready to put on my bathing suit… but then I got incredibly insecure and decided against it. I wasn’t insecure due to my weight, or lack of abs, it was because of my scars. Now I will tell you all, since most of you know anyway… I have two scars on my stomach, and one larger one, lower down near my bikini line- these scars are the outcome of me donating my kidney to my sister in January. The lower, and much larger one, doesn't bother me at all because you cannot see it while I wear a bathing suit… but the two on my stomach (still unsure why they are there) are pretty obvious. More obvious than I believed. I wore a crop top out the other night… It was slightly covering the scars, but they became visible if I moved a certain way. Some kid had the audacity to come up to me and ask, “what are those from…?” than proceeded to point at one of the scars on my stomach. I was taken back… who thinks its okay to ask someone you don’t know about a scar on their body? I should have been all, "wanna know how I got THESE scars" using the creepy voice of Heath Ledger as the Joker, while simultaneously looking like I am on drugs... i'm sure that would have kept him from asking anyone else random about their scars. Side note, if you are about to ask someone about a scar/or something on their body… close your mouth… put your hands down from pointing, and start walking away (but before you go, buy them a drink as an apology for being an asshole)… Of course, I have been told time and time again that I have no filter, so I said “I donated a kidney to my sister in January..” with a less than thrilled look upon my face. I think I sucked the air right out of that room. Regardless of how I acted un-phased, I did become quite self conscious.
So when Sunday came, I refused to put a bathing suit on… and sat outside with shorts. But after much thought, I have realized that these scars show bravery, these scars tell a story about saving a life, these scars are something I should not be ashamed of. So I am dedicating this post to my beautiful scars...
There you have it! Now looking at them, instead of being ashamed, I smile. Never be insecure about your scars, your scars just prove you are stronger than whatever it is you have faced.
