The honest truth is that, people tend to avoid living in the present moment... When is the last time you can remember feeling completely content living in that moment? And I mean, without your phone, without your computer, magazines, food, shopping, other individuals, and those pestering thoughts about all you should being doing besides taking this time … just you, yourself, soaking in all that surrounds you, contently. You probably have to think about this. I know for me, I am always playing on my phone, or doing something to keep my attention occupied. Even when I get up in the morning, I don't take time to lie in bed, "I am too busy" I tell myself, and then proceed to check every means of communication I own. We are compulsive beings. We aren't use to those moments of alone time, they are nearly becoming foreign to us since we are often surrounded by so much commotion, the mere thought of being alone for any amount of time tends to intimidate us. "What if all those thoughts I don't want to think about resurface when I am alone?" We become anxious of what this time will bring, and therefore we use numbing mechanisms, like electronics, shopping or hanging out with friends, just to avoid them all together.
Well, my proposition for you is this, try and take a few moments in your day for some complete alone time, no electronics or other materialistic items, no food, nothing but yourself. Find a spot away from the commotion, a spot that you find peaceful, one that radiates beauty, and just soak it in. Let all the thoughts rush through your head, some will be bad and some will be good, but you will be okay. They are just thoughts. Take deep breathes, let the sun hit your face, and enjoy the smell of the fall weather dawning on us. Live in the moment, realize all of your blessings, this is your life, appreciate it. You will feel rejuvenated, and realize that taking these moments a few times a week will decrease your need and dependance on those numbing mechanisms.
I am all too familiar with this. When my sister passed away, I didn't want to be alone for even a second, scared of all the thoughts that would haunt me once I was. I did everything I could to surround myself with people, sometimes even with people I wasn't really interested in being around, just to avoid myself- my own mind. I refused to be alone, or without my computer and phone. I eventually came to realize, this was a big cause of my unhappiness. Simply, It was me avoiding all of my problems. Her death was true, she isn't coming back no matter how badly I want her to. It wasn't a nightmare, it happened, and for lack of a better word, it sucked… but I needed to cope with it. I needed to let it sink in. I was forgetting what it was like to be alone, enjoying ME time. Now I find myself, so often, taking that time of solitude. There are still those days were my peace is interrupted with negative thoughts, but those moments where I grasp life and relish in my current state, bring me peace throughout the day. They allow me to understand how far that little bit of me time can go.