Monday, October 20, 2014


      I feel like I am beginning to sound like a broken record, my weekend was quite uneventful. I feel like that comes with the whole 'growing up' territory. I remember my weekends (or remember trying to put them together the next day) being filled with clubs, bars, and pre games... now they are filled with school work, work work, and oh that other job too... and in between that, sleep. Which is now making sense as to why having two glasses of wine makes me feel 'happy.' YIKES WHEN DID I GET OLD? Don't answer that, I still look like I am 17 so maybe I should start wearing jean skirts and uggs again to make it more believable... no, even I am not that desperate. 
So this is my weekend of uneventfulness
Friday I had a midterm- which I thought I did terrible on, but come to find out I Aced it, so I needed to add that into the post so I could brag. #sorrynotsorry
I worked late Friday night, and then came back to my APT, changed out of my work attire, and headed to a bar to meet some friends for a glass of wine, after the one glass, I called it a night and walked back to my apt. 
Saturday, I slept in a bit. Got up and ran some errands, I love living right near downtown crossing because I can hit up the Marshalls/Tj MAXX/H&M all the time. I bought some cute clothes, none of which I have pictures of... I suck at blogging tonight. Then I headed to work, where I worked until about 1030pm.
After work, I headed to bar for Lindsey's birthday, had two glasses of wine- chatted a bit, and took a selfie because... well, because I am vain. Also took an 'artsy' picture in the elevator of my APT complex to show off my outfit- which really wasn't much to show off. I feel like I am being quite self deprecating right now... but I NEED pictures to add to this post so it isn't terribly boring for you guys!! 

SUNDAY! Still uneventful things happening, but at least a little more exciting than the prior two days. I woke up, showered, yah know.. the usual, and then my mom came into the city to grab lunch with me! It has been hot minute since we have done one of our lunch dates, so it was nice to catch up. With her schedule and my schedule, we find it difficult staying in the loop with each others lives. We also wanted to take this time to look for a gift for Lindsey's birthday! 
Side note: Have any of you been to Sip? I love it!! The Sushi is delicious, and it is fusion... so we also got the 'edamole dip' which is some sort of guac/hummus concoction. I have gotten flatbreads there before as well.. definitely check it out! The fall/apple inspired sangria is delicious. I had two, and ended up walking out of the restaurant without my purse and sunglasses, walked back in and the waiter said "so the Sangria was good?" UGH. 

Then I worked Sunday night until 10... 

How was y'alls weekend? More eventful than mine?


Monday, October 13, 2014

     You know when you have so much to do… like, literally (can't even) a litany of things that NEED to get done… so you make the adult decision to click snooze on your alarm, and then proceed to binge watch your favorite television shows once you finally wake up? That is exactly where I am at right now! I have… and yet, I am finding myself doing EVERYTHING but what needs to be done. Its a slippery slope, a downward spiral if you will, once you push that thing off… you just keep pushing it back further and further to where your mind puts a block up every time it tries to remind you of all the things you need to get done. So, I decided to find things, or steps for lack of a better word, that push me to get all the things on my to-do list, checked off!! 
Also, my horoscope for the last few days has been pretty much calling me out on my B.S (it's so on point, not sure if y’all believe in allll dat, but if you do download the daily horoscope app!!!)

So here are some things that help me get back into the swing of things,
1. Find a reward... this sounds like the fat kid in me, but whenever I have a lot of studying/or a project to get completed, I promise myself the best/most delicious french fries in the world once said project is completed! I am a die hard fry fan! 
2. Find inspiration... I am not sure if you are religious/spiritual, but whenever I am looking for more focus, I step away from what needs to be done and talk to Ash. Probably sounds weird, and maybe I am lil crazy, but it definitely helps my mind get back on track. 
3. Fear... seriously, sometimes I freak myself out (which is terrible for my already annoying anxiety) that if I don't finish what needs to be done, I will be letting SO many people down- and I have an immense fear of letting people down, so that gets my ass in gear. 
4. Which leads me to the next tip, commit publicly... tell everyone your plan/what needs to be done and when it will be done, NOBODY likes to look bad in front of others.
5. Shut your internet off... if you are trying to study from notes/books, you don't needs the internet for at least an hour.. so just BE THE BIGGER PERSON AND SHUT IT DOWN. (ps, sadly this is the hardest thing for me... ahhhh our generations dependence on technology). 
6. Start off small.. do the easier things first, once you have completed some smaller tasks, you will feel more motivated to reach for the bigger ones. 
7. Say bye-bye to Hulu Plus, Netflix, tumblr, twitter, facebook, and whatever other website you roam between reading the sentences from your textbook. 
8. Think about the good that will come from finishing your tasks instead of how annoying it is to actually take part in these tasks... I much prefer going to bed knowing that I just worked my butt off to get stuff done, then going to bed with the daunting fact that I still have so much to get done!
9. Stop saying "i'll do it tomorrow," cause you know tomorrow is going to come and you are going to say the SAME exact thing!!! 
10. Don't shut down... if you are doing your work and you can feel yourself getting frustrated/ ready to give up, take a walk, make some tea/coffee, and come back to your work in 15 minutes. 

Okay, so those are some things I do to help me get the things I need to get done, done. What do you guys do? 

Celebrate life.

Monday, October 6, 2014

          Hellllllooooo there blogging world! I need to extend the biggest apology for my lack of updates! Let me start my blog listing my excuses as to why I have been so lame with posting (because thats how every blog should start, right?) Okay... I got a cold, like a terrible... I can't breathe, hacking up a lung, type of cold. WORK. I don't talk to much about my jobs/ but I have been incredibly busy... and I am partially lazy, so any down time I get, I take advantage of my sleep. OKAY.. get it over with: do I want some cheese with that wine? Call the waaaambulance. I just needed to get it all off my chest. 

        But the biggest reason for the delay, and I think a justifiable one, was Ashley's birthday on Oct 2nd. No matter how positive I remained, it still put me in a sort of disconnect with the world. I found myself just wanting to shut my door and be by myself, allowing the world outside to rush on by, as if the four walls around me diminished time as a whole. I think it was the whole time aspect that hit me hardest. How much time has passed since her death. It is a scary thought. 

     So to avoid being a total buzz kill- I thought I would throw Ashley a birthday party. She would never want me to feel this way on her birthday... I updated a Facebook status that sort of explains my thoughts on this celebration: 

I went to bed last night dreading the mere thought of Oct 2nd, wishing I could sleep through it and just wake up on the 3rd. It is crazy how one date can have such a large impact on you… Oct 2nd is Ashley Dias birthday, a date we use to celebrate, a date we use to plan for months in advance, and now its a date that makes me cringe, makes me cry, and takes me a month in advance just to conjure up the courage to even look at on a calendar. But I woke up today and didn’t feel the usual burden, the dread I had felt last night seemed to have disappeared. Instead, I felt happy? I was confused with myself, and then the anger hit me, how could I feel happy on this day? Was I bad person for feeling so? I glanced over to my bed side table and spotted the picture of Ashley that I keep close by, my lips already forming the word “sorry,” as if she was alive in the picture, would see me say sorry and forgive me for not crying my eyes out. But my lips let go of the formation as soon as my eyes focused on the picture, sorry never came out of my mouth, and an unusual sense of calmness immediately took over my body. Its as if she answered the questions running through my mind… the last thing Ashley would ever want is for us to avoid this date, this occasion that celebrated the life she lived. She would want us to do just that, celebrate it. Celebrate all the memories she left behind, eat an abundance of sweets, all the while sharing stories of her many mishaps, and filling the room with boisterous laughs. So that is what I will do. I want to wish my sister the happiest of birthdays, and I want to do so by celebrating this day as if she was celebrating with me. I also want to thank everyone who has followed my journey since I started this blog, without your support I would not be as strong as I am right now, I would never have been able to donate my own kidney to Lindsey. So again, thank you from the bottom of my heart. 

     The party consisted of close family and friends, lots of junk food, sweets, and WINE (la duhhhh). We laughed, shared stories, and did everything Ashley would have wanted us to do. I am so thankful for all of the people who attended, its amazing that no matter how much time passes- there will always be people who care, and that is a really calming thing for me. So here are some pictures of the event-

Happy Birthday Angel. 

Thursday's Thoughts.

Thursday, September 25, 2014


        Thursdays are my laziest days, so I of course always look forward to them... knowing I can sleep all day (besides my one class in the AM…. which I may or may not have slept through today….) and it allows me time to catch up on my blogging, book, emails… all the while still laying in my bed... so win win. 
       I wanted to just do another ramble post about things I am loving at the moment. First things first, FALL!!!! I am so excited it is here, well, sorta… kinda here? Actually it will be 82 on Sunday, get it together New England. But on the days that the fall weather peaks through, I get pretty excited. Plus, the market down the street has their pumpkins out, so I mean, even in 82 degree weather fall is lingering around, letting us know it is ready to push the summer weather out of its face. 
      One of my favorite parts of fall is the clothes, I love the fact that I can look 'homeless' everyday and its considered 'chic'. I kid, I only look 'homeless' every other day. The burgundies, leather, and darker LIPS, thoughhhhh (I love me some black lipstick) *you look intimidating with dark lipstick* good, stay the hell away from me. 
      My roommate and I have been dying to go to the MFA's first friday of the month, so I have been browsing websites for the perfect dress to wear... I found Hybrid Fashion (click the banner on the side of my blog to see for yourself)... they have some gorgeous selections.
     There is also the cutesy things to do like, apple picking, pumpkin picking, and making up these elaborate plans of baking an apple pie and carving a pumpkin while watching the leaves fall from the trees,  sporting an adorable oversized knit sweater, (note that I said  'making up' and not actually taking part in... cause I hardly do these things, but they are fun to think about). Although, the ritz carlton does a (classsssy) pop up apple orchard! count me in on that one.. you can read about it here
      Wheelhouse Coffee, I have been once so far, and I am already dreaming about tomorrow so I can go again (maybe ill bite the bullet and go twice in a day? over indulgent? probably) My roommate went and let me know that she got 'cinnamon toast crunch' iced coffee... I was sold. Plus, it is next to our apartment, so technically I lied when I told you guys I hadn't gotten out of bed today (I threw my hair up, put some sunglasses on and walked down stairs to check it out) and it was worth it. They had a list outside of all the flavors, I picked coconut cream pie- and the best part is that it isn't a syrup, the flavor is grinded (is that even a word?) in with the beans! Check it out guys. 
        And EMMA WATSON'S amazing speech on gender equality is everything... she perfectly articulated the importance of gender equality, and how both genders need to band together to stop any inequalities that continue to go on in our world. #heforshe is the slogan, and you all need to check it out here. She was later attacked for her stance, but that needs to be discussed in a later blog post all on its own.
        Also, my roommate and I want to become parents.... we are trying to foster a dog!! If you have an advice/ know of a great shelter to go through, let me know!

Are you as excited about Fall as I am? 

Why do I blog? And the Daunting Birthday.

Thursday, September 18, 2014


       With Ashley's birthday coming up in October, it got me to thinking about why I started this blog in the first place. I sometimes feel like the purpose has sort of been lost in translation, between all the pointless rambles and current favorites, so I wanted to take this opportunity to dive back into those overwhelming emotions I was feeling back in the Summer of 2012... the emotions that pushed me to start this blogging journey. 
      On June 14th 2012 I witnessed one of the most terribly chilling moments of my life, my sister taking her last breath. I can't form words that can appropriately depict the rush of emotions that burned through my body. I was 22 years old, starring down at Ashley's lifeless, stiff body, as the doctors told us "there is nothing more we can do..."- was this a feeling of sadness? anger? For the first time in my life I was introduced to this new feeling, a feeling of complete hopelessness. 
      I walked out of her hospital room, unable to continue looking at this unfamiliar body laying in the hospital bed in front of me. I mindlessly began walking down the the sterile, emotionless hallways of Cleveland Clinic, each fluorescent light seemed to flicker along with my constantly changing thoughts. Thoughts about what I would do next. About other people who have dealt with situations like this, situations where, at such a young age, they had dealt with so much hardship... but all these situations I was thinking about, ended the same... these people all fell into drugs or alcohol, or shut themselves off from the world. I had just watched my sister die, would I be another person to add to that list of, "oh her? yeah she went downhill after that tragedy, she just couldn't handle the pain." Would I fall into that dark hole? I began to just accept that fate, I mean, how will I continue my journey of life knowing there will always be a huge chunk of me missing? 
      I wish I could give my readers a better understanding of how I was feeling during this time. I have always enjoyed writing and being able to bring my words to life, allowing the readers to feel as if they are experiencing exactly what I am writing about... but I have nothing for this situation, no elaborate explanations, no big, extravagant words... all I can seem to conjure up is that it sucked, and absolutely no one should have to experience that type of pain. 
       I somehow ended up back by her room, standing at a halt by the door way. All the limp bodies, crying inside her room were a blur to me, my vision was tunneled towards my sister's body, and it was the only clear thing that met my eyes. At that moment, I knew I had to keep fighting, I knew I had to stay as strong as possible. I can't tell you what changed my thoughts, or how I was able to come to that conclusion- I like to think it was Ashley helping me along, transitioning over the strength she held onto for so long, to me. I stopped looking at Ashley, that wasn't her anymore, and walked into the room, over to my mother. I picked her up from the chair she was hunched over in, and wrapped my arms around her as tightly as possible... I became the rock for my family that day. I knew we couldn't fall apart. 
     So I started this blog to explain my story, and to help teach people, through my own hardships, that things can get better. Your days won't always be filled with darkness, and you will eventually find a reason to smile again. There are days that are still a struggle for me, but I have grown to understand that, that is only one day- it won't be like that forever. 
      Feel free to reach out to me at any point if you are dealing with something difficult- no hardship is too small, I am always here to listen. If you would like to read more about my story check out the about me here.

A Terrible Date With A Celebrity!?- Misfortunes Of MacKenzie Take 4

Friday, September 12, 2014


Check out the other 'Misfortunes' herehere, and here...
Below I also listed the winners of the skywalk tickets at top of the hub! 

    I went on a date...with an actor…this happened not too long ago, so hopefully said person isn’t reading this- but I won’t be dropping any names for that reason (and i’m sure legality reasons), ok let me start from the beginning! 
      It was Friday night and I was laying in bed watching ‘The Office’ (typical), and I noticed  a flood of Instagram notifications pop up on my phone… It was some random kid… now usually I would just ignore something like this, but this kid looked familiar! I clicked on his Instagam pictures, scrolled through, and I knew I had seen him somewhere... but just couldn't put my finger on where I had seen him. After reading some of the captions on his pictures, it seemed that he just flew into Boston for the weekend after being out of the country. So I of course Googled his name (oh like you wouldn’t!) and there he was all over Google… (I will call him Tanner for the sake of this story, which is no where close to his real name) I was intrigued.. “cooool a celebrity is liking my pictures,” his Instagram was also connected to his Twitter, which was a verified account, so I knew it was really him and not a catfish. Not only was he an actor, but he was pretty damn attractive, so I decided to follow him back… he then direct messaged me on Instagram (yes, that is a thing, I was surprised by it too!) We had small chit chat about how our days were going (I of course made up something instead of saying 'yeah just laying in bed, eating and watching The Office'...) after our small talk, he asked if I wanted to grab a drink with him later that night. Of course you are all thinking exactly what I was thinking- booty call. I would have said no for that reason alone, but after talking with my friends, I wanted to hang with him because he is attractive, seemed really sweet, down to earth, and hey, he is an actor. Plus, my friends would be with me the whole time, and I know myself, I wouldn’t be hooking up with him- so therefore he could think what he wanted

       I got ready for the night, and headed to the Granary Tavern with some friends. We chatted, got some nice cocktails, and laughed at the whole scenario that some random actor found my Instagram (still don’t know how he stumbled upon mine…). Meanwhile, “Tanner” and I had exchanged numbers… and had been texting throughout the night to meet up later! He said he was at a fun bar I was sort of familiar with, I asked him if the line was long to which he replied, “yes, but I can get you in right away.” (eye roll emoji).. but I told him I had 5 people coming along with me… he then told me he didn't think he could get five people in. So he proceeded to say that he was going back to his hotel if I wanted to join and grab a few drinks at the hotel bar, there was no way I was going to his hotel… So I said that I felt bad leaving all my friends, so he should just meet us! He said he would. About 15 minutes passed, and in he walked. All I could think was, “this has the potential to be so awkward….” I made sure to tell my friends to keep the conversation going if it ever got weird. 
      Things went smoothly at the bar, and once the lights starting turning on, we all decided to head back to my apartment. I invited him to join as we were going have a few more drinks and just hang out. He came with, and soon my friends started dwindling and it was just him and I. Of course I am thinking, that he is thinking he is going to get lucky…. ah, he was so wrong. We were watching T.V, I didn't know how to nicely say, "okay leave" so I sat awkwardly apart from him on the couch. He kept making comments/ or telling me stories about each actor that he knew personally, that popped up on the screen… I acted un-phased by it all. He then started getting weird… asking me personal questions that I was not comfortable answering… so I diverted the conversation. I asked him more about his career, how he got into it, and if he enjoyed being in the entertainment business. He then brought up my blog.. I told him I really try to promote organ donation as much as possible...and thats when it went down hill. Before I could say anything after explaining I promote organ donation he jumped in, “Oh, I don’t believe in organ donation. I think my mouth dropped a bit. I didn’t think that was a thing to not believe inDo you believe in helping feed hungry, impoverished children? I don't get it. But of course, I can’t judge anyones opinions, since I am sure I believe things others, don’t… I asked him why he didn’t believe in organ donation, “well, I heard straight from a few nurses mouthes that if you are organ donor and you are close to death.. they will just let you die instead of saving you so they can take your organs and donate them…” 
Ahhhh, ignorance, what a terribly scary thing. Maybe these were nurses in some of his movies? Despite the anger growing in me, I replied as nicely as possible.. “Well that isn’t true since we have a lack of organ donation in the country.. and my sister died after waiting for lungs for six months… “ and I kid you not, word for word he said, “well that sucks for her, but I know that is true… I heard it straight from nurses.” Again with the nurse excuse. I think my face was bright red by this point, did he really just say "that sucks for her" about my sister dying? I WAS LIVID... I mean, that is even an understatement. I told him to leave... but the worst part was that he sat there, waiting on his uber... that "5 minutes away" felt like twenty!

Top of the Hub was gracious enough to send me three sets of tickets for the skywalk! So the winners chosen from the random name generator are,
Linda O'neil
Daniela Bradburn 
Alica E
If you could could just e-mail me your address I can send them ASAP! Thanks for entering!

Shaving Money! (pun intended)

Tuesday, September 9, 2014


      I don’t know if this has happened to any of you guys, but have you ever been getting ready for a night out, showering, luffa-ing, and then when you go to shave your legs, you realize you have a dull blade- yuppppp, my life story! So I run, trying hard not to slip and break a limb, to my counter to check if I have any extras (making a puddle on the floor), and of course the pack is empty… so tights it is! When my family and I heard of dollar shave club, we knew we had to sign up, and we are now obsessed- and can go tights free from now on. Dollar shave provides great razors, shipped right to your door?! HELLO! All you have to do is pick your razor of choice, and then pay a wicked (yeah, clearly I am from Boston) cheap monthly fee… seriously, only $1,$6 or $9) and they show up at your door! 
       Dollar Shave Club inspired me to think about exactly what it is I do to ‘shave money,’ cute, huh? So I thought I would give you guys my tips on saving a few extra bucks! 

1. Started acting like an ‘Adult!’ (only kinda, and only sometimes).

I found that ever since moving into my apartment, whenever I go shopping, I look for cheaper alternatives! I use to have a blind eye to price, and only went name brand, until I realized the significantly cheaper prizes the non name brands were… and they were NO different? I felt like I had been getting played all my life! I went into Walgreens the other day to get some cleaning supplies, zip lock bags, and other house hold essentials! As my hand gravitated towards the name brand…my eyes went to the cheaper price!

2. Getting those rewards. 

Seriously (I use this word a lot, does it actuaaaally get the point across?), if you go often to CVS or Walgreens, or whatever store, check if they have a rewards card! I have gotten like 10 dollars of extra care bucks from CVS, and also the points from Walgreens… which you can then use in the store for anything, pretty awesome! I know a lot of people assume rewards points are bogus and don’t actually help, but I swear they do! 

3. Find different places to get your produce. 

I have told you guys about my new love affair with the farmers market? I mean, if you can look past the sardine packed strip of people (some sort of smell like B.O) it is THE BEST thing I have accepted into my life! I live right next to one that goes on during Friday’s and Saturday’s, I am sure it will be ending soon, so I need to take advantage of the last few weekends ! It is so incredibly cheap for getting great produce! You just walk around, and you can choose all sorts of fruits and veggies, lbs for only 1 to 2 dollars. I suggest bringing a reusable bag instead of carrying twenty plastic grocery bags back home… I learnt my lesson the first time. 

4. Cooking at home?

Huh? What!? But I live in the city- let me eaaaaat at all the great restaurants! I know, its easy to want to test out all the great kitchens around the area you live. I live in Boston, and I have little self control when it comes to saying no to eating out at a restaurant, but when it comes to saving… its important to not over do it. So with the produce you bought at the farmers market, and a few things at your local grocery store- you can cook up a cheap, delicious meal at home! Make sure you make enough so that you can…. 

5. BRING your own lunch to work/school..

The great dinner you made last night that saved you money? It can also save you money the following day! Pack yourself a lunch from home, you won’t feel tempted to go out for lunch/ or buy some food on campus, and you will save money! 


 This one is something prevalent in my everyday life! I have tried the whole.. make it at home thing, but there is something about going to a coffee shop in the morning, and getting a quick cup made for you... so here is my suggestion, quit with the fancy schmancy drinks! Instead of getting that extra light, super charged, machilatteee lalalal, get an iced coffee, or a regular coffee- so much cheaper! If you are addicted to your regular, intense order, maybe it is time to look into how to make it at home!

So there are some of my tips for saving a few bucks!!