Why do I blog? And the Daunting Birthday.

Thursday, September 18, 2014


       With Ashley's birthday coming up in October, it got me to thinking about why I started this blog in the first place. I sometimes feel like the purpose has sort of been lost in translation, between all the pointless rambles and current favorites, so I wanted to take this opportunity to dive back into those overwhelming emotions I was feeling back in the Summer of 2012... the emotions that pushed me to start this blogging journey. 
      On June 14th 2012 I witnessed one of the most terribly chilling moments of my life, my sister taking her last breath. I can't form words that can appropriately depict the rush of emotions that burned through my body. I was 22 years old, starring down at Ashley's lifeless, stiff body, as the doctors told us "there is nothing more we can do..."- was this a feeling of sadness? anger? For the first time in my life I was introduced to this new feeling, a feeling of complete hopelessness. 
      I walked out of her hospital room, unable to continue looking at this unfamiliar body laying in the hospital bed in front of me. I mindlessly began walking down the the sterile, emotionless hallways of Cleveland Clinic, each fluorescent light seemed to flicker along with my constantly changing thoughts. Thoughts about what I would do next. About other people who have dealt with situations like this, situations where, at such a young age, they had dealt with so much hardship... but all these situations I was thinking about, ended the same... these people all fell into drugs or alcohol, or shut themselves off from the world. I had just watched my sister die, would I be another person to add to that list of, "oh her? yeah she went downhill after that tragedy, she just couldn't handle the pain." Would I fall into that dark hole? I began to just accept that fate, I mean, how will I continue my journey of life knowing there will always be a huge chunk of me missing? 
      I wish I could give my readers a better understanding of how I was feeling during this time. I have always enjoyed writing and being able to bring my words to life, allowing the readers to feel as if they are experiencing exactly what I am writing about... but I have nothing for this situation, no elaborate explanations, no big, extravagant words... all I can seem to conjure up is that it sucked, and absolutely no one should have to experience that type of pain. 
       I somehow ended up back by her room, standing at a halt by the door way. All the limp bodies, crying inside her room were a blur to me, my vision was tunneled towards my sister's body, and it was the only clear thing that met my eyes. At that moment, I knew I had to keep fighting, I knew I had to stay as strong as possible. I can't tell you what changed my thoughts, or how I was able to come to that conclusion- I like to think it was Ashley helping me along, transitioning over the strength she held onto for so long, to me. I stopped looking at Ashley, that wasn't her anymore, and walked into the room, over to my mother. I picked her up from the chair she was hunched over in, and wrapped my arms around her as tightly as possible... I became the rock for my family that day. I knew we couldn't fall apart. 
     So I started this blog to explain my story, and to help teach people, through my own hardships, that things can get better. Your days won't always be filled with darkness, and you will eventually find a reason to smile again. There are days that are still a struggle for me, but I have grown to understand that, that is only one day- it won't be like that forever. 
      Feel free to reach out to me at any point if you are dealing with something difficult- no hardship is too small, I am always here to listen. If you would like to read more about my story check out the about me here.

A Terrible Date With A Celebrity!?- Misfortunes Of MacKenzie Take 4

Friday, September 12, 2014


Check out the other 'Misfortunes' herehere, and here...
Below I also listed the winners of the skywalk tickets at top of the hub! 

    I went on a date...with an actor…this happened not too long ago, so hopefully said person isn’t reading this- but I won’t be dropping any names for that reason (and i’m sure legality reasons), ok let me start from the beginning! 
      It was Friday night and I was laying in bed watching ‘The Office’ (typical), and I noticed  a flood of Instagram notifications pop up on my phone… It was some random kid… now usually I would just ignore something like this, but this kid looked familiar! I clicked on his Instagam pictures, scrolled through, and I knew I had seen him somewhere... but just couldn't put my finger on where I had seen him. After reading some of the captions on his pictures, it seemed that he just flew into Boston for the weekend after being out of the country. So I of course Googled his name (oh like you wouldn’t!) and there he was all over Google… (I will call him Tanner for the sake of this story, which is no where close to his real name) I was intrigued.. “cooool a celebrity is liking my pictures,” his Instagram was also connected to his Twitter, which was a verified account, so I knew it was really him and not a catfish. Not only was he an actor, but he was pretty damn attractive, so I decided to follow him back… he then direct messaged me on Instagram (yes, that is a thing, I was surprised by it too!) We had small chit chat about how our days were going (I of course made up something instead of saying 'yeah just laying in bed, eating and watching The Office'...) after our small talk, he asked if I wanted to grab a drink with him later that night. Of course you are all thinking exactly what I was thinking- booty call. I would have said no for that reason alone, but after talking with my friends, I wanted to hang with him because he is attractive, seemed really sweet, down to earth, and hey, he is an actor. Plus, my friends would be with me the whole time, and I know myself, I wouldn’t be hooking up with him- so therefore he could think what he wanted

       I got ready for the night, and headed to the Granary Tavern with some friends. We chatted, got some nice cocktails, and laughed at the whole scenario that some random actor found my Instagram (still don’t know how he stumbled upon mine…). Meanwhile, “Tanner” and I had exchanged numbers… and had been texting throughout the night to meet up later! He said he was at a fun bar I was sort of familiar with, I asked him if the line was long to which he replied, “yes, but I can get you in right away.” (eye roll emoji).. but I told him I had 5 people coming along with me… he then told me he didn't think he could get five people in. So he proceeded to say that he was going back to his hotel if I wanted to join and grab a few drinks at the hotel bar, there was no way I was going to his hotel… So I said that I felt bad leaving all my friends, so he should just meet us! He said he would. About 15 minutes passed, and in he walked. All I could think was, “this has the potential to be so awkward….” I made sure to tell my friends to keep the conversation going if it ever got weird. 
      Things went smoothly at the bar, and once the lights starting turning on, we all decided to head back to my apartment. I invited him to join as we were going have a few more drinks and just hang out. He came with, and soon my friends started dwindling and it was just him and I. Of course I am thinking, that he is thinking he is going to get lucky…. ah, he was so wrong. We were watching T.V, I didn't know how to nicely say, "okay leave" so I sat awkwardly apart from him on the couch. He kept making comments/ or telling me stories about each actor that he knew personally, that popped up on the screen… I acted un-phased by it all. He then started getting weird… asking me personal questions that I was not comfortable answering… so I diverted the conversation. I asked him more about his career, how he got into it, and if he enjoyed being in the entertainment business. He then brought up my blog.. I told him I really try to promote organ donation as much as possible...and thats when it went down hill. Before I could say anything after explaining I promote organ donation he jumped in, “Oh, I don’t believe in organ donation. I think my mouth dropped a bit. I didn’t think that was a thing to not believe inDo you believe in helping feed hungry, impoverished children? I don't get it. But of course, I can’t judge anyones opinions, since I am sure I believe things others, don’t… I asked him why he didn’t believe in organ donation, “well, I heard straight from a few nurses mouthes that if you are organ donor and you are close to death.. they will just let you die instead of saving you so they can take your organs and donate them…” 
Ahhhh, ignorance, what a terribly scary thing. Maybe these were nurses in some of his movies? Despite the anger growing in me, I replied as nicely as possible.. “Well that isn’t true since we have a lack of organ donation in the country.. and my sister died after waiting for lungs for six months… “ and I kid you not, word for word he said, “well that sucks for her, but I know that is true… I heard it straight from nurses.” Again with the nurse excuse. I think my face was bright red by this point, did he really just say "that sucks for her" about my sister dying? I WAS LIVID... I mean, that is even an understatement. I told him to leave... but the worst part was that he sat there, waiting on his uber... that "5 minutes away" felt like twenty!

Top of the Hub was gracious enough to send me three sets of tickets for the skywalk! So the winners chosen from the random name generator are,
Linda O'neil
Daniela Bradburn 
Alica E
If you could could just e-mail me your address I can send them ASAP! Thanks for entering!

Shaving Money! (pun intended)

Tuesday, September 9, 2014


      I don’t know if this has happened to any of you guys, but have you ever been getting ready for a night out, showering, luffa-ing, and then when you go to shave your legs, you realize you have a dull blade- yuppppp, my life story! So I run, trying hard not to slip and break a limb, to my counter to check if I have any extras (making a puddle on the floor), and of course the pack is empty… so tights it is! When my family and I heard of dollar shave club, we knew we had to sign up, and we are now obsessed- and can go tights free from now on. Dollar shave provides great razors, shipped right to your door?! HELLO! All you have to do is pick your razor of choice, and then pay a wicked (yeah, clearly I am from Boston) cheap monthly fee… seriously, only $1,$6 or $9) and they show up at your door! 
       Dollar Shave Club inspired me to think about exactly what it is I do to ‘shave money,’ cute, huh? So I thought I would give you guys my tips on saving a few extra bucks! 

1. Started acting like an ‘Adult!’ (only kinda, and only sometimes).

I found that ever since moving into my apartment, whenever I go shopping, I look for cheaper alternatives! I use to have a blind eye to price, and only went name brand, until I realized the significantly cheaper prizes the non name brands were… and they were NO different? I felt like I had been getting played all my life! I went into Walgreens the other day to get some cleaning supplies, zip lock bags, and other house hold essentials! As my hand gravitated towards the name brand…my eyes went to the cheaper price!

2. Getting those rewards. 

Seriously (I use this word a lot, does it actuaaaally get the point across?), if you go often to CVS or Walgreens, or whatever store, check if they have a rewards card! I have gotten like 10 dollars of extra care bucks from CVS, and also the points from Walgreens… which you can then use in the store for anything, pretty awesome! I know a lot of people assume rewards points are bogus and don’t actually help, but I swear they do! 

3. Find different places to get your produce. 

I have told you guys about my new love affair with the farmers market? I mean, if you can look past the sardine packed strip of people (some sort of smell like B.O) it is THE BEST thing I have accepted into my life! I live right next to one that goes on during Friday’s and Saturday’s, I am sure it will be ending soon, so I need to take advantage of the last few weekends ! It is so incredibly cheap for getting great produce! You just walk around, and you can choose all sorts of fruits and veggies, lbs for only 1 to 2 dollars. I suggest bringing a reusable bag instead of carrying twenty plastic grocery bags back home… I learnt my lesson the first time. 

4. Cooking at home?

Huh? What!? But I live in the city- let me eaaaaat at all the great restaurants! I know, its easy to want to test out all the great kitchens around the area you live. I live in Boston, and I have little self control when it comes to saying no to eating out at a restaurant, but when it comes to saving… its important to not over do it. So with the produce you bought at the farmers market, and a few things at your local grocery store- you can cook up a cheap, delicious meal at home! Make sure you make enough so that you can…. 

5. BRING your own lunch to work/school..

The great dinner you made last night that saved you money? It can also save you money the following day! Pack yourself a lunch from home, you won’t feel tempted to go out for lunch/ or buy some food on campus, and you will save money! 


 This one is something prevalent in my everyday life! I have tried the whole.. make it at home thing, but there is something about going to a coffee shop in the morning, and getting a quick cup made for you... so here is my suggestion, quit with the fancy schmancy drinks! Instead of getting that extra light, super charged, machilatteee lalalal, get an iced coffee, or a regular coffee- so much cheaper! If you are addicted to your regular, intense order, maybe it is time to look into how to make it at home!

So there are some of my tips for saving a few bucks!! 


Sunday, September 7, 2014

       It is Sunday night (insert crying emoji)... and here I am lounging on my bed, and instead of writing the paper due tomorrow (oops), I am thinking of a new blog post! So, I decided to do a currents post... I have done a post like this before, it is pretty much all the things I am currently loving/doing/eating/wearing... so everything you guys probably don't care about! Ha! But what you will care about is the end of this post when I name the two winners of the Temazcal 50$ Gift Cards! If you are the winner make sure to send me an email with your address so I can get them to you write (I went to edit this because, hello embarrassing, but I decided to leave it as proof of how my brain is apparently non existent by Sunday..) away!

Old Pictures-
I went home on Saturday (back to Andover, such a crazy fun town),
and looked through a bunch of old pictures (told you, always so much going on)... 
(baby pictures, all the way to my early college days, and boy do I miss my long hair)

I made a fashion 'no-no' but I ended up loving it! Judge me.

I forced myself to start reading more- so I downloaded the kindle app on my iPad, and have been finishing up Mockingjay! Yayy for being studious

This is a give in, whenever I am bored I find new inspirational quotes- I know, my life is sooooo exciting.

I needed a good laugh, so I started re-watching 'The Office' from season 1! I misssssed it. 

What are some things you guys are currently doing or loving! Let me know below... and Okay, I will stop boring you and let you in on why you came here- the two winners!

Liana @ Run to Munch!

and Jenny Muschinske!
Congrats girls! Thanks so much for entering! 

So single, So single....

Tuesday, September 2, 2014


             I am like so single, so single… my idea of a date is walking to the farmers market, by myself- forgetting that an actual ‘date’ usually includes two people… I don’t even know how to date at this point. So therefore… I don’t. It got me thinking as I was bombarded by older/younger/every ucking person, questions… “are you seeing anyone?” “how is the dating life?” “any new boyfriends..” etc, etc, blah. blah. Okay, I am just sounding bitter now, aren’t I? I am sure you non single woman are thinking so, as you sit snuggled up on the couch with your loved one, playing footsie and feeding each other pieces of the homemade cookies y’all just baked together…what, that isn’t happening? But in all seriousness, I am not bitter! I think relationships are wonderful- I was in two, three year relationships… I enjoyed every second of them (lol, no thats a lie…I enjoyed them most of the time) I literally only knew relationships since I was 17 years old up until 23. I remember my friends and family worrying for my well being if those relationships were to end, “will you be able to be single? you’ve always had someone, how will you cope without them?” I will breathe, eat and go on my everyday life as usual? It is absurd to me, I certainly enjoyed dating and the thought of always having someone there for me, but I also always knew I was stronger than someone who would fall apart due to an ending relationship! I digress… I personally don’t regret any of my prior relationships, I have learned so many lessons from them. I am also incredibly happy for my friends who are happy with their current significant others, the ones who are jumping…um, I mean, getting married, and I worry intensely about the ones who are rushing things- I of course have zero say in their desired path… so all I am about to express is my own opinion, what I believe makes a relationships work, what I have seen break a relationship, and the importance of loving yourself, finding a career you love just as much, and how doing things for yourself, that bring joy into your life, should come before all else.
           First of all why is our life mission finding that someone...and I feel like this is becoming the norm for younger and younger people every year. I mean, it is the first topic that comes up when communicating with your friends, its the point of most peoples nights out, and the array of dating websites is overwhelming… I get it, having someone is nice, but me? I want to own a company, I want to be a boss (bauuuus), I want to find new hobbies, travel, and yes, eventually I hope to meet someone, but I certainly have bigger dreams than letting “meeting someone” move straight to the top of that list (and when did the idea of meeting someone become a mission and not something that just happened.. you know, fate...) And thats not say if I do meet someone I am going to avoid dating them, I just don’t intend on making it my sole purpose to find that someone. I have so much I want to do right now that the last thing I have been thinking about is getting into a serious relationship. I have never been the type to pinterest a bunch of wedding shiz, and my childhood dream as all the other little girls were dreaming of their white dress, was being able to have a huge office on the top of a skyscraper, with massive windows looking out on the city skyline, and never having to introduce myself because I was already known. So as much as I do hope to meet someone, I have a lot of things I want to accomplish that I need to focus on before that. I have actually gone on dates more recently, don't get me wrong.. but each one has made it more and more clear to me that I want to "do me" (haaaa, I will probably never say that again), and accomplish some of my own goals before I jump into the boyfriend world again. 
           So now here is my problem with some relationships I see, and things I have personally experienced...I have dated two guys for three years, a month of single life between them…probably not my smartest move, but its what made me happy (ugh), so there was no changing my mind. First of all, you need single time, way longer than a months worth. You just do. You also must not alter your life because of a significant other… if you are planning on moving for a bit, but meet someone between that time, so you settle and change plans… you are making a huge, huge mistake. If your idea of an exciting life is marrying your high school sweetheart, spending every waking second together, not having a desire to really travel or do things because you are comfortable where you are at, and then choose on getting married and having kids- you are probably going to miss out on a hell of a lot. Again, this is just my thoughts- not trying to offend anyone who chooses this path- more power to you... but if you are that certain you are meant to be with that person, why rush into marriage and not take time to travel and see/do other things? I guess what I am saying is, as long as you don't find happiness in the form of a relationship, and you still make sure to open up time for yourself/friends/family... separate from time with your significant other, and continue to work on making sure you are in the exact career you want to be, annnnnd still do the same things you did before they came into the picture.. then you are in the exact type of relationship I want to be in ....cause from personal experience, if you include your significant other in… you are making a mistake, YOU NEED YOUR OWN LIFE, I remember being with my past boyfriends, and feeling like I had to be with them all the time, our comfort levels were up there, so much so that we didn’t desire to put fourth effort, didn’t shut the door when going to the bathroom… and just literally threw out all mystery. It seems great, they are your best friend… that’s the problem, no, they are your boyfriend/girlfriend… Yeah you guys need to have a stronger foundation to last, a foundation like one of a friendship... but that doesn’t mean they are your bestest friend that is use to seeing you pick your wedge and nose. And I am not saying being close and comfortable with your significant other is a bad thing, but just be aware of loosing all mystery. I also think the whole jumping into marriage is terrifying. I don’t think you really know someone as well as you think until you have spent a huge portion of time together, and I am talking years. (again, this does not go for everyone!!!)
       It is wonderful seeing my friends happy, and in turn that makes me happy… but it also makes me slightly sad that sometimes, the reason for their happiness seems to depend on a significant other...that makes me sad because that has been me before. Your significant other shouldn’t be the reason for your happiness, you should have already found happiness, and just included them as another part of your life that was already full of happiness.  Take a step back and ask yourself, “if I didn’t have this person… would I still  be doing exactly what I am…is this what I have always wanted to do...” if the answer is yes, than good for you- keep excelling, keep being cutesy, but don’t overdue it. 

Make smart choices that demand a happy future. 

Again, this doesn't go for everyone, and some people who are dating someone serious agree with my thought process- I know when I get into my next relationship, these lessons I have learned will allow me maintain a healthy and successful relationship.

Dinner review and giveaway- Temazcal Cantina!

Monday, September 1, 2014

        I was in a moooood, and really just needed to get out and vent to someone...(sorry you had to be the chosen one ally) Ally was one of my closest friends in high school, and is still one of my closest friends today! I cherish our friendship so much... I mean, we have been close since freshman year of high school (which is sadly so long ago), running around with our jean skirts and white knee socks that only slightly peaked over the top of our ugg boots- taking peace sign selfies in the middle of the mall, sporting ribbon chokers... (this all happened, no exaggeration) So the fact that we are still close just proves we will be a part of each others lives forever. 
      I had to vent with a view though because I am still high maintenance even when it comes to venting (jokes..) but really, we decided to head to the Seaport District... Temazcal! I was so excited to eat some of the menu staples (hello lobster guac!), and also stare off into that beautiful view.. So no hesitations, we knew that was the place we wanted to go to have our chat session.  Plus, the amazing people at Temazcal gave me  TWO 50 dollar gift cards to the restaurant to give away to two of my amazing!? Trust me, after you see all these pictures you will be running to this restaurant! 

So, we got an absolutely amazing seat that perfectly displayed the gorgeous view- I mean, words can't really express just how beautiful it is, so you can just check out the picture below:

YUP... Seriously though... how can you not get lost in that view! Ally was loving it too.. 

What a cutie bear. 
Our waiter Manny was absolutely fabulous, very attentive and knowledgable- he also got brownie points for bringing us over some chips and dips right away (which is so important, read image below...)

it comes with a vegan dip, refried beans, and another type of salsa... this is no tostitos dip- you can tell its all made in house.
And how could you not want to stuff your face with this amazingness? 

Manny then gave us great suggestions on both drinks and food we should check out...but  before he could even give us time to look at the menu, we both blurted out that we wanted the lobster guacamole... yeah you read that right, lobster guacamole! It is heaven in your mouth, and they don't skimp out on the lobster! 

I know you are drooling right now? cause I certainly am.                                                                             Then my besos margarita came over- which I enjoyed thoroughly, I am usually not a huge margarita fan, but the tequila taste wasn't overwhelming, and the natural flavors of the strawberry puree shined through! 

Of course we got lost between the view and the venting- so it took us awhile to finally decide on our food choices- but we decided to get another app, a side, and an entree to share! YES WE ATE A LOT AND WE HAVE NO REGRETS... 

 So we started with the trio of ceviche- I love me some lobster, so I wanted more, and this came with it! It was lobster, bay scallop and ahi tuna! 

I wish the pictures did this justice- delicious. 
Then we went with the chicken quesadillas, which was a large portion- perfect to share! 

We then wanted to try a side that was something completely unfamiliar to us, so Manny suggested the skillet jalapeƱo cheddar corn bread- yeah, how could we say no to that?! I mean, we already coined that night as our night of indulgence! And all the plates exceeded our expectations! 

I am seriously marking my calendar for the next trip to Temazcal! And now two of you can get the chance to head over there with a 50 dollar gift card... all you have to do is either comment under here with an 'enter me' or go to my Facebook page here, and like the most recent Facebook status talking about this giveaway (make sure to like the Facebook page too) and then I will pick a winner by next Monday! I am also still doing the 'Top of the Hub' giveaway, so go like that status to be entered into that! 

Hope I didn't make y'all too hungry! 

Lessons I have learned in life.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Just some life lessons I have come to learn in my 20 something years of living... 

  • Things don’t always go as planned. 
  • All of those, “bessssst friendssssss forever...” probably won’t be your best friends forever. 
  • Just make sure to never let go of those friends who would answer your call at 2AM no matter what they are doing, those people are hard to come by. 
  • Sometimes people make mistakes, don’t give up on everyone because they may say or do the wrong thing…everyone is human- even your parents. 
  • Hear people out
  • You can never overuse I love you, and people aren't good at the guessing game- tell them.
  • Just because you do the right things in life... doesn’t always mean life will do the right things for you. 
  • Time doesn’t slow down for anyone, take advantage of every opportunity. 
  • When things go wrong...remember, that doesn't mean your whole life is going wrong. 
  • This too shall pass. 
  • Usually toxic people don’t start off in your life as toxic people, be aware. 
  • If you are the only one putting in the effort, its time to let go
  • Sometimes people say forever, and they don't stay forever. 
  • If a guy only wants to see you at night- he isn't the one for you. 
  • And if your friends don't like your boy, he is also not the one for you.
  • There will probably be someone in your life you will feel you let slip away.
  • Just eat the damn ice cream or pizza at midnight, seriously... do it. 
  • Go out of your way to be nice, it will make you feel better
  • Holding onto anger causes more harm than good. 
  • Never doubt yourself. 
  • Sing in the car, sing in the shower, sing wherever the hell you want... no matter how bad you think your voice sounds.
  • More times than not, your gut is right
  • Don't give up a dream... seriously, no matter how out of reach you may think it is- fight for it every damn day. 
  • Sometimes, no matter how justified you are, you cannot win- that's okay
  • You can't control what people do, you can however, control how you react. 
  • Sometimes people just suck
  • Make sure to surround yourself with people who make you laugh. 
  • You know... those boisterous, uncontrollable fits of laughter... its like medicine for your soul.
  • Sometimes, you are wrong, and sometimes, sorry won't fix it... 
  • Just make sure to say sorry when its appropriate
  • Go on an adventure, even if its something as simple as hiking through your backyard. 
  • Ask for help, it doesn't make you weak
  • "You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world.. and there is still going to be someone who hates peaches..." stop trying to please everybody. 
  • Screw anyone who doubts you. 
  • Stop expecting people to cut you slack, and stop expecting someone to save you. 
  • Do you remember that embarrassing moment from two years ago? Yeah, neither does anyone else- don't dwell on shit. 
  • The many small things in life add up to be much larger than the few big things. 
Life is a continuous lesson, what are some things you have learned up until now?